Asia Kink Conference (SG) Events Schedule

SLAP! is pleased to announce a working schedule for Asia Kink Conference (Singapore), including a list of workshop titles and presenters!


Registration will open up at 8pm, 24th October, Saturday! For updates, please subscribe to the group Singapore Learn and Play and turn email notifications on.

Event page:

Vouching requirement: All attendees must be vouched for by one of the SLAP! team. Please look for us at the U35 or SGDomsubs munches before Nov 20th.

*Please note that we reserve the right to make changes to the schedule.

Friday November 20th 2015

8:00 – 8:30pm – Doors open, meet and greet
8:30 – 9:00pm – Opening and Keynote address by ImmoralRestraint and Forsak3n
9:00 – 10:00pm – Audience Q&A with Presenters
10:15 – 11:00pm – Rope performance by Nawakiri Shin

Saturday, November 21st 2015

9:30 – 10:30am – Registration and collection of goody bags
10:30 – 12:00pm – Workshop Session #1 (see below)
12:00 – 2:00pm – Lunch break
2:00 – 3:30pm – Workshop Session #2 (see below)
3:30 – 4:30pm – Break
4:30 – 6.00pm – Workshop Session #3 (see below)
6:00 – 8:00pm – Dinner break
8:00 – 1:00am – Play Party

For the full list of workshop titles and presenters, please click HERE


Asia Kink Con (SG) Rope Instructor/Performer: Nawakiri Shin


SLAP! is pleased to announce that Nawakiri Shin will be performing and teaching at Asia Kink Con (SG) 2015. (November 20th – 21st)

Nawakiri Shin started learning shibari in 2004. He is a founding member of BDSM.TW, the only BDSM support group in Taiwan, and the author of Essence of Shibari, 繩縛本事, a Chinese book on shibari.

He has performed in various events, both local and international, including Toubaku 2011 in Tokyo, London Festival of the Art of Japanese Rope Bondage 2012 and 2013, Asia Adult Expo in 2013, and in the Taipei Fringe Festival every year during 2011 – 2014. Besides performing, he also teaches shibari classes in Taipei every week.

Early in his career as a rope artist, he developed a reputation for his dynamic style, speedy tying, and dramatic performances. Over the years he has been transitioning into a more intimate, emotional style of bondage, creating a sense of love and connection which he hopes the audience will share.

More about Nawakiri Shin

Workshops taught:

  • Shibari 101. Starting out with rope bondage
  • Tying with connection
  • Intermediate rope

Please join SLAP! and turn email notifications on to receive the latest updates and signup information for Asia Kink Con (SG).

Rope Workshops with Michael Ronsky (27/28 June)

A rigger and performer, Michael Ronsky, was in town last weekend and SLAP! had the pleasure of hosting and running 2 workshops with him. 

A few of us did both workshops, and boy was it a rope intensive weekend for us. I’m sure a few of us went back with rope high. I know that my boy and I certainly did. 

I learnt so much from Michael over the weekend, and it was truly money well spent. Even though I already knew a lot of what he taught, I got to see things from his perspective and experience his style. 

I think at some point I let my OCD get the better of me and started focusing too much on technical aspects of ties and how to do it correctly. I’m not saying that isn’t important. It is. But I kept trying to perfect things and forgot to have fun and play. 

This weekend, I learnt how to play again. 

Michael had the riggers blindfolded, and asked us to start with a simple single column around the wrists. From there, we were to forget everything else and just use that one rope we had, and our body, to restrain and play with our bottoms. 

Being blindfolded helped me to forget all the details that I usually focus on so much. It made me focus on my rope, my boy, and our bodies. I’ve never felt this connected to anyone when tying before. And it was fun. We both had such an intense connection that I wasn’t even thinking about the other people in the room. By the time I finally removed my blindfold, I realised that we had been playing for quite awhile and everyone else was done. 

At the suspension workshop the next day, we learnt partial suspensions, but in that same concept of playing. We got our main ties done very technically and structurally sound, and then from there started playing with different ways to move the body around. I’ve always wondered how to do transitions, and I think I learnt exactly how to this weekend. My boy was all blissed out and in rope space after our suspension session. 

It is always interesting to learn from and understand the perspectives and styles of different people, no matter what your experience level is. As long as you keep an open mind when it comes to learning, there’s always something to take away from even the most basic of workshops. 

We at SLAP! are looking forward to bringing in more presenters to share their knowledge and experience with you. 

Basic Rope Handling: Joining/Extending Rope for Shibari

To maintain fluidity and increase the speed of tying, Shibari typically uses medium length ropes of 7-10m. This means that you will have to extend your ropes regularly while tying.


A knot is required to join the ropes together. If the knot is located at a point where it will place pressure on nerves and arteries, this can be dangerous. Adjust the positioning of the knot to avoid placing pressure over danger points. Common danger points include the nerves under the armpit, as well as radial nerve on the upper arm. The knot should never be under your armpit or on your upper arm wraps in a takate kote.


1. Lark’s head

  • Your rope needs to have knotted ends.
  • Both ends of the rope must be even. If the ends are uneven, all the pressure will be placed on the longer end of the rope. To remedy this, go to the last point at which the old rope crosses another structural rope, and loop the longer end around it until both sides are even.

2. Sheet Bend (Preferred)

The sheet bend is my preferred method of extending rope as it is more versatile.

  • It works on rope without knotted ends, such as ropes with whipped ends.
  • It works even when the ends of the rope are uneven.
  • It allows you to join a new rope anywhere along the old rope. This is important for avoiding pressure points (see safety note).

There are two commonly used methods. The first involves directly tying a sheet bend. This is my preferred method.

The second method involves separating or splitting the 2 loops of a lark’s head to form a sheet bend. (same video as in part 1)

Singapore Learn And Play (SLAP!) is a non-profit group that delivers quality learning experiences for the Singapore BDSM community. SLAP! Rope Socials are casual events revolving around rope bondage, meant for both riggers and bottoms. Demonstrate your favorite ties and exchange tips and techniques with other attendees. For more information on our upcoming events, visit our Fetlife discussion group or sign up for our mailing list

Tips, Tricks and Toy Care

Re-posting this from a thread in our FL Group.

Thanks 0celot for transcribing and posting this very detailed guide on toy care!

Our order from Pleasure Chest was accompanied by a rather comprehensive and concise pamphlet on toy care. Thought it’d be useful to share it here since I can’t find it on their website.

Here’s the PDF version, reproduced below.

**Please excuse any typos – had to OCR the pamphlet as the scanned version was rather difficult to read.*

Non-porous materials
may be shared safely after proper disinfecting

  • Aluminum is a lighter weight metal that warms quickly to body temperature but can also be cooled or warmed with water for temperature play. It can be used with all types of lubricant. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner. Disinfect with isopropyl alcohol or boiling.
  • Ceramic toys are double fired & covered with body-safe glaze to be non-porous, hygienic & durable. They may be warmed or cooled with water for temperature play & can be used with any type of lube. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner.
  • Glass can be used with all types of lube & washed with soap & water or toy cleaner. Do not expose glass to extreme heat or cold & discontinue use if it becomes cracked or chipped. Disinfect with isopropyl alcohol.
  • Medical-grade plastic & Elastomed are non-porous. They are compatible with all types of lube. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner. Disinfect with isopropyl alcohol.
  • Pyrex is glass that is more resistant to impact or extreme temperature. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner. Disinfect with isopropyl alcohol or boiling.
  • Silicone is hypoallergenic, hygienic & durable. To clean, wash with soap & water. Toys without electrical components can be cleaned by boiling for 3 minutes or on the top rack of your dishwasher with no soap. Silicone toys should not be used with silicone lube.
  • Stainless steel toys are prized for their hardness, heft and hygiene. Try cooling them down or warming them up with water tor temperature play. They can be used with all types of lubricant. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner. Disinfect with isopropyl alcohol or boiling.
  • Wood used in high-quality dildos is coated with various (depending on the brand) food-safe and in some cases medical-grade finishes that make them non-porous. Read labels on how to use & care for individual products. In general they can be used with all types of lube & should be cleaned with soap & water or toy cleaner. Do not boil & retire or discard if deep scratches occur.

Porous materials
are not safe to share without a condom, as they may transmit STIs & harbor bacteria & yeast.

  • Acrylic can be used with all types of lube. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner.
  • Cyberskin (also sold as Ultraskin, Softskin & UR3) is very delicate & must be used with water-based lube only. Most require a gentle & thorough wash with soap & water & air dry, but see individual manufacturer for specific instructions. To maintain the feel of Cyberskin & keep it from getting sticky, powder it lightly with cornstarch (never use talcum powder on or near the genitals) & use a plastic bag for storage. Condom use with these toys is highly recommended.
  • Elastomer & TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber) are durable, hypo-allergenic soft plastics free from phthalates. Use with water-based lube only. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner.
  • Hard plastic (yes, it’s porous!) can be used with any type of lube. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner.
  • Jelly-Rubber is a soft rubber that contains phthalates & may contain latex. Clean with soap & water or toy cleaner. Condom use is highly recommended.
  • Leather can be cleaned with soap & water, with leather cleaner or a rubbing alcohol solution. Once leather is cleaned, it should be allowed to air dry for at least 24 hours. You may want to use leather conditioner to keep the leather soft & supple. Never soak leather.
  • Neoprene should be washed with soap & water or toy cleaner. Allow to air dry fully.
  • Nitrile is a latex-free synthetic rubber compound that is now used in many cock rings & gloves as an alternative for those with latex & other sensitivities. Dispose of all gloves after use for sanitary reasons. Clean nitrile rings with soap & water or toy cleaner.
  • Nylon can be washed in the washing machine on the delicate cycle or by hand. Using a lingerie bag in the wash & air-drying can protect straps & help them keep their shape.
  • Silagel, Silicone blend & Vinyl toys can be cleaned with soap & water or toy cleaner. They contain lower levels of potentially problematic chemicals than jelly-rubber, but they may still be present. Condom-use is recommended.
  • Phthalates (pronounced “thal-ates”) are plastic softeners that are known to have carcinogenic properties. We do not recommend inserting them into the vagina or anus, the most absorbent areas of the body, without a condom.

can not only increase the quality and duration of penetrative play, but also make sex safer for both partners, providing a slick cushion that prevents tearing.

  • Never use any lubricants that contain the spermicide Nonoxynol-9 because it can irritate the skin & actually make you more susceptible to STls.
  • Glycerin-free water-based lube is recommended tor vaginal sex, especially for women who are prone to yeast & urinary tract infections.
  • Use extra lube for anal sex & never use oil-based lube with a latex condom.
  • Do not use silicone lube with silicone toys.

Condoms, Gloves & Dams
are a must-have for safer sex with partners & toys.

  • Never use oil-based lube with latex condoms, gloves or dams.
  • For those with latex sensitivities, polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms & darns, plastic wrap & nitrile gloves are great alternatives. Polyurethane (NOT polyisoprene) & nitrile can be used with oil-, silicone- & water-based lube.
  • Be sure your plastic wrap is the non-microwavable type, as microwave wrap has tiny holes & will not protect from infection.
  • To create a slippery sensation & increase pleasure for the receiver, use gloves to apply lube to the area beneath the dam or plastic wrap before cunnilingus or analingus.
  • Use fresh condoms, gloves or dams when switching between partners or from the anal to the vaginal area.


  • Wash toys before their first use & immediately following each subsequent use.
  • Always remove batteries when storing vibrating toys.
  • Know whether your toy is water-resistant (“splash proof”) or water-proof. Only water-proof toys should be submerged.
  • Be sure the rubber ring around the battery compartment of your water-resistant or water-proof toy is present, intact & tight. Do not use it in water if it is not.
  • A bit of electrical tape around the wire or cord can strengthen & protect wired toys.
  • Store porous toys separately in plastic bags.
  • Never pull on or use the cord at a vibrating bullet as a “handle”. If you plan to insert it, put it inside a condom.


Cock rings made of rubber, silicone, wood, leather, metal and other materials keep the flow of blood In the penis, which creates an erection that is more sensitive, harder and may last longer. Many people also love the way they look.

WARNING: Do not use cock rings if you have a blood-clotting disorder or any nerve disease. Use caution if you take drugs for erectile dysfunction.

  • Cock rings should be worn against the body, surrounding the base of the penis and the testicles. The fit should be snug, but comfortable. Some cock rings, such as smaller ones made of wood or metal, are designed to be worn around the shaft only. Always read manufacturer instructions.
  • Adjustable cock rings are recommended tor new users. They are often leather with snaps or rubber bolo styles.
  • Put on the cock ring before the penis becomes hard. Non-adjustable cock rings should be entered one testicle at a time then tuck the penis through head first. Lube can ease this process, but be sure to hold the ring until you’re completely hard to avoid slippage.
  • Do not wear a cock ring for more than 2 hours and remove it if the swelling is overly pronounced and accompanied by pain, numbness or cold genitals.
  • Wait until you are flaccid to take off your cock ring.


The G-spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is not as elusive as you may think. It is the area inside a woman’s vagina that fills with fluid when aroused. It’s located at the front wall of the vagina and can feel textured & bumpy. Pressure applied to the G-spot can feel very pleasurable and some women are even able to ejaculate liquid (which is not urine) from the urethra.

The Prostate, also known as the P-spot or male G-spot, is a gland located between the rectum and bladder. During arousal the prostate fills with fluid which helps semen travel through the urethra upon ejaculation. The spot can be felt through a man’s anus as an area similar in size and texture to a walnut. Stimulation of this area heightens pleasure for many men.

To locate the G-spot or P-spot, insert a finger or fingers 2-3 inches into the vagina or anus and press upward gently towards the belly button using a milking or come-hither motion. It helps to use lube and for the receiver to be very relaxed and comfortable.

  • Toys with a gentle, upward curve aid in solo or partner G-spot or P-spot exploration. Be sure all anal toys have a base.
  • Clit stimulation during G-spot play can enhance arousal and orgasm.
  • Position is crucial for G- or P-spotting during partner penetration. Remember to angle upward, toward the belly button.
  • If you’re trying to experience female ejaculation, a.k.a. squirting, bear down and pull the toy/penis/fingers out of the vaginal canal during orgasm as a full vagina can hinder ejaculation.
  • Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping and vibration of the G- or P-spot to find what feels best.
  • Your goal should be pleasure, exploration and fun!


When engaging in anal play, it is essential to relax and use plenty or lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. One of the key things to remember about anal adventures with a partner is the incredible amount at trust Involved. Practice open communication with your partner and let the person being penetrated control the action, at least in the early stages.

  • Use a lot or lube. Silicone lube is great for butt sex because it stays slick for a long time, but water-based lube can be thicker and more cushioning for delicate anal tissue. Experiment to find what’s right for you.
  • Avoid numbing tubes or creams that are unsafe because they inhibit the body’s pain response and could cause you to overdo it.
  • Only use toys with a handle or flared base, otherwise they can slip inside the rectum during use. Cover porous toys with condoms for safer sex and easy cleanup.
  • Condoms, gloves and dams are not only great tor safer sex, but can reduce friction during anal play.
  • Before entering, use a finger to stimulate the sensitive outer area of the anus to excite and relax it. When penetrating with a finger, enter pad-first to avoid scratching. Short fingernails and/or wearing gloves help.
  • During butt play, don’t enter the vagina with the same toy/finger/penis without thoroughly washing it or changing condoms. This can lead to infection.
  • Always pull out of the anus gently and carefully.

Source: “PLEASURE PRINCIPLES: Tips, Tricks & Toy Care” from Pleasure Chest

Tips for the new Dom/me

“Just be your usual guai lan self. He want, you don’t give. He don’t want, you give more.”

This was the piece of advice someone gave me before my very first session.

Everyone is different. I think the most important first thing to figure out is what your style is. That, and learning the right techniques and knowing how to play safely.

Technique and Safety

Between the time I first thought about topping to the time I actually topped someone, it was about 1.5 years (or maybe more). I had been thinking about it for a very long time, but it was only after learning proper techniques at the 2 kink conferences in Hong Kong that I felt I was ready to try.

I personally don’t like doing things without the proper research. I also don’t do anything to my subs that I haven’t tried on myself. I like to know exactly what I’m doing to the other person. Some call it my OCD, some think I’m a perfectionist, but I think it’s also about being in control of the situation.

The kink conferences were the perfect place for me to learn. This was a weekend full of workshops from experienced people, some of whom also came from overseas. They taught us the skills we needed, and more.
At both kink cons, I attended workshops on how to do rope, impact play, CBT, humiliation, etc. I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what I was doing, and don’t end up screwing someone else up, or breaking something/someone. These workshops taught me skills I didn’t already know, and I learnt so much from a FemDomme presenter about what I could do to a male body.
While you can learn a lot from the Internet, it is so much better to learn first hand from someone experienced, and also learn tips and tricks that they might have figured out themselves while experimenting. This is also why we encourage members to attend our skill-shares.

Finding your style

Equipped with these skills and techniques, I was still having trouble trying to top. I was constantly worried that I wasn’t giving my bottoms what they wanted, and was questioning whether they really liked it.

Speaking with a few more experienced Dom/mes, they told me to worry less about what the bottom wants, but rather what I wanted out of it.

I’m not saying that the bottom is unimportant. He/she is the most important person you need to watch out for. But once you figure out what you want, it becomes a lot easier to find a bottom with similar kinks, and/or to match your kinks with your bottom’s when you are negotiating the scene.

Find out what you like. Do you want play to be sensual? Do you prefer intense, sadistic play? Are you looking for someone to wait on you and do your chores? Or are you just a rope top who just wants to tie a bottom up?

It took a bit of time and experimentation, but I’ve figured out what really interests me – rope, inflicting pain, mind fuckery, humiliation and predicament bondage. It’s so much easier now to find a sub/bottom with matching interests, and I also know that as long as I’m enjoying myself, he/she will be too.


Play parties are great for this.

You don’t have to go into serious Dom/me mode, but you can experiment with various toys and see where things take you. Because it is a group setting, you can be assured that there are always more experienced people around who can help you, or point out anything that you might be doing wrong.

The first time I topped someone was at a play party. I knew there were very experienced people in the room who were looking out for me and my bottom in case anything goes wrong, and I knew they would correct me if I did something wrongly.

I definitely recommend playing at parties to gain experience, and to watch other scenes and learn from them.

If you are experimenting in private, constant communication is key. If you are playing with an experienced sub, he/she should tell you if anything feels wrong. You should also keep checking in on your sub to make sure that things are going well.

Planning a scene

I like to have a few main things planned, and then fill in the blanks around it.

My very first scene as a Domme was very simple. These were the 3 things I had planned:

  • Go with him and make him buy a pet collar at the pet shop near my place – I scouted Out the place prior to our play session to make sure they had collars that could fit humans.
  • Play an evil predicament game – something to do with a zipper line ;)
  • Use my pole as a whipping post – I had my ropes tied to the pole in preparation because I wanted to see his reaction when he saw it.

Be creative when filling in the blanks around your main points. Anything can be perverted. Go with the flow and follow your gut when inspiration hits.

I find that I become more creative when I have a partner to bounce ideas off. Therefore, when my sub gets smart-mouthed or says something interesting, I tend to pick up on that and find more evil things to do.

I told my bottom that I bought a bamboo mop handle especially for him. When I asked what implement he wanted me to hit him with, he chose the mop handle, not knowing that I had only intended to use it as a spreader bar. Well, more fun for me (and more pain for him)!

At a recent play party, a masochist I used to play with showed me an interesting contraption. This device picks up sound or music, and delivers electric shocks to the beat of the music. I had a brilliant idea. What if I left the receiving end near my bottom’s mouth. If I hit him hard enough, he will scream and the receiver will pick it up and deliver a shock. And if he screams again because of the shock… it becomes a vicious cycle.

Many times, subs end up saying things that will give you a thought-starter. I don’t know why, but their mouths like to get them into trouble a lot.

These are just a few tips from my personal journey in finding my Domme side.

If you want to find out more, SLAP! will be doing a series of skill-shares around the topic of domination at our March event.

Featured on SimplySxy

Basic whip tutorials for sport cracking and scene play

Here’s a list of the most instructional whip cracking tutorials I found. Not all the cracks are applicable to BDSM/kink scenes, but some of the flicks are quite useful for wraps and targeting.

Wraps (Demonstration-only, not instructional)

Robbie Amper of Whip-Basics using cattleman’s crack and sidearm flicks for wraps.

Adam Winrich uses the forward vertical and sidearm flicks for doing his wraps and targeting.

Alexander Jacob of Cobra Whips using the sidearm flick, forward vertical and underhand flicks for body wraps

Cattleman’s/Circus/Gypsy crack

Reverse cattleman’s crack

Highwayman/Coachman’s crack

Overhead crack

Reverse overhead crack

Forward flick

Forward vertical

Underhand flick

Sidearm flick

Singapore Learn And Play (SLAP!) is a non-profit group that delivers quality learning experiences for the Singapore BDSM community.

Somerville Bowline: A more secure single column tie

When Nawakiri Shin was at the SLAP! rope social in November, he showed us a more secure way to tie a single-column tie called the Somerville Bowline. This was originally invented by @Topologist in 2009.

The most common type of single-column tie, the Boola Boola, has a tendency to collapse if the line tension shifts and comes in from the wrong direction. The Somerville bowline addresses this weakness and is stable under tension from multiple directions. It tends to be a bit looser, and is less suitable for ties that require tight wraps.

The original blog post describing the tie can be found HERE.

Here’s a video tutorial on how to do the Somerville Bowline:


Singapore Learn And Play (SLAP!) is a non-profit group that delivers quality learning experiences for the Singapore BDSM community. SLAP! Rope Socials are casual events revolving around rope bondage, meant for both riggers and bottoms. Demonstrate your favorite ties and exchange tips and techniques with other attendees. For more information on our upcoming events, visit our Fetlife discussion group or sign up for our mailing list