Guide to Singapore BDSM Events

I’ve gotten quite a few questions about the various kink events that regularly happen in the Singapore BDSM scene. The scene has grown rapidly in the last 3 years, and we now have 4-5 kink events happening regularly each month! Yay for choice!

I’ve put down my personal thoughts about the events I regularly attend. Arranged in calendar order. Please feel free to share your own thoughts about the events in the comments.

Singapore Learn And Play (SLAP!)

Type: Education
Venue: Depends on type of event.
When: 1st Saturday of each month. Late afternoon to evenings.
Dress code: Vanilla to the door. Check specific event rules.
Cost: Depends on event. Some events are free.
Audience: 18+/21+ (see SLAP! guidelines). LGBTQA friendly.

If you want to have a safe place to learn more about kink, this is a good place to start. Discussion groups are focused, moderated discussions to share and learn from each other. SLAP runs regular kink 101 discussions targeted towards newbies as well.

Rope and D/s socials are other peer learning formats that SLAP facilitates for the community to learn from each other in an informal setting.

Workshops and skill-shares (conducted by your peers or by visiting experts) are more structured learning experiences. These range from lecture-style, to workshops with demos, and hands-on workshops.

FULL DISCLOSURE. I facilitate SLAP!, but I’ve also found my own skills/knowledge improving as I’ve attended our workshops. It’s fun to eat your own cooking

How to attend

Join the SLAP! group on Fetlife to get notifications about their events. Each event will have its own Google form that you’ll have to fill up to register. (Fetlife event RSVPs don’t count, but are good for telling your friends you’ll be attending). Discussions and 101s are open to all, but other events require vouching. (See SLAP! guidelines).

Links

SG Under 35

Type: Traditional Munch.
Venue: Public. Restaurants and bars.
When: 2nd Saturday evening of each month, 6:30pm – 10:00pm
Dress code: Vanilla casual.
Cost: What you order. Mains (~$15-$30)
Audience: 18 – 35 year olds. LGBTQA friendly.

The U35 munch gives me a safe, comfortable vibe, and I use it primarily to catch up with friends and to make new ones. This is a classic munch, in terms of style. By this, I mean that if you randomly pick a munch in a big western city, the restaurant/bar format in a vanilla setting is the most common and traditional format.

There are a lot of newbies each munch, so newbies don’t need to worry about being the only new person in the group. Attendees are friendly to newcomers and the mods take pains to clamp down on creepy/predatory behavior at the munches. U35 mods will also conduct a short kink basics talk that covers safety, etiquette, consent, and other topics during the munch itself.

You’ll find a wide range of topics going on in the numerous conversations you’ll have throughout the evening. Once most people are done with their meals, they will circulate around to mingle.

How to attend

Join the SG Under 35 group on Fetlife to get notifications about their events. Fetlife events are usually posted 1-2 weeks before the event. RSVP on the Fetlife event at least 5 days before the event and you should get an invite with the location 2-3 days before the event.

Links

Sunday Munch, Adult Supervision Singapore

Type: Traditional Munch.
Venue: Public. Restaurants and bars.
When: 3rd Sunday afternoon of each month, 3:00pm – 6:00pm
Dress code: Vanilla smart casual.
Cost: What you order. Mains (~$15-$30)
Audience: 18+. LGBTQA friendly.

This is a fairly new munch, but I love that we have so many dates and timings for munches now. The feel of the munch is very similar to the U35 munch as the formats are similar. This is a classic munch, in terms of style. By this, I mean that if you randomly pick a munch in a big western city, the restaurant/bar format in a vanilla setting is the most common and traditional format.

The crowd will be slightly older (but mostly below 40) than U35, but there are a wide range of ages showing up, from 18 years old and up. Attendees are friendly to newcomers and the mods take pains to clamp down on creepy/predatory behavior at the munches.

How to attend

Fetlife events are usually posted 1-2 weeks before the event. RSVP on the Fetlife event before the event and you should get an invite with the location

Links

SGDomSub

Type: Hybrid Munch.
Venue: Semi-private. Taboo Bar (67 Neil Rd, Singapore 088897)
When: Last Wed/Thursday evening of each month, 9:00pm – 12:30am
Dress code: Vanilla to the door. Fetish gear (no boobs/genitals) inside. No shorts/slippers.
Cost: $28 cover charge for 2 drinks
Audience: 18+. LGBTQA friendly.

A little bit of everything. There is a large social component, with some very light play (usually no full-on scenes). There will be a mix of seated and standing groups. Ambience is generally good with dim lighting and there will be light background music.

Attendees usually wear a mix of casual clothes (no shorts/slippers allowed) or fetish gear. Most attendees will be in vanilla clothes, so don’t worry if you don’t have any fetish clothing. Normal bar/clubbing clothes will suffice. Some will show up in office-wear as well.

This is the most publicized munch outside of Fetlife, so there’s usually a pretty high turnover of attendees with a fair number of newbies as well as international visitors.

You’ll get 2 drink coupons with the cover charge, good for beer, wine, and house-pours. I find the house-pours quite weak, but that is a problem with Taboo house-pours in general. Beer and wine are what you’d expect to get elsewhere.

I don’t recommend that total newbies engage in play at the munch for several reasons. All of the commonly used consent/safety frameworks such as SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual), RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), PRICK (Personal Responsibility In Consensual Kink) emphasize informed consent. By definition, newbies are less likely to be able to give informed consent because they might not have all the knowledge/information they need to in order to give informed consent or to negotiate properly. For example, newbies may not have sufficient knowledge of risks (where not to hit during impact play, risks of nerve damage for rope, how to do a hand check during rope play for nerve damage, how to safeword (while gagged), why you shouldn’t be left alone after being tied up, etc).

If you do play, please negotiate properly (for both the protection of the top and the bottom). If you don’t know how to negotiate, you probably shouldn’t play. The probability of a bad outcome is significantly higher when you play without a proper negotiation.

How to attend

Show up. They sometimes have the munch on Wednesdays. Please check their FL events for the exact day.

Links

King SG

Type: Munch/Parties
Venue: Varies. Usually in public locations.
When. Saturdays. Join their mailing list to get event notifications.
Dress code: (Munch) Vanilla, (Parties) Vanilla to the door, fetish gear inside
Cost: (Munch) What you order. (Parties) $20+
Audience: 18+. Gay/Bi males.

This entry will be quite brief as the group is very new. But KING is aimed at gay/bi male kinksters. They organize quarterly parties, and munches during the non-party months. PM me for more details about this.

How to attend

Event notices will be sent via email. Please join the mailing list by filling in this form.

Singapore Ethical Non-Monogamy Meetup

Type: Discussion & Social
Venue: Private location
When: Varies but at least monthly, usually weekends
Dress code: Vanilla
Cost: Free. Bring snacks/drinks to share
Audience: 18+. LGBTQA friendly.

This group is focused on building a community of like minded individuals, providing an opportunity to socialize in a safe space and to facilitate discussion on ethical non-monogamy. The meetups usually are a blend of socialization and discussion. Discussion only meetings between main meetings may be added in the future.

As not all polyamorous folks are kinky, there will be both vanilla and kinky folks present. The group is kink-friendly, although much of the discussion will be around vanilla topics related to ethical non-monogamy. I’ve found the discussions to be well facilitated, and the attendees to be thoughtful and candid about sharing their experiences.

How to attend

Run by Rob and Libby. Please send them a message at sgethicalnonmonogamy@gmail.com for more details. Additionally there is an invite-only secret Facebook group for discussion, resources and event planning.

Singapore Centralized Kink Library

OK, it’s not exactly an event, but it’s a great resource! Members of the local community, as well as some kind donors from the US, have donated and lent their books (the paper kind) to create a kink library. It’s got a mix of both fiction and non-fiction kink books on a wide range of topics.

It’s being administered by immoralrestraint and you should contact him via Fetmail to checkout any books you wish to borrow. He can usually be found at the Sunday Munch.

For more details, including the catalog and library rules, please visit the post for the centralized Singapore kink library

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About RobinDoood

RobinDoood has been active in the Singapore BDSM community for the last five years, although he has been exploring kink privately for the last decade in Australia and the U.S. He enjoys community building, and likes to build safe, collegial spaces for participants to learn and share their experiences and skills with each other. He feels that there is such a wealth of knowledge, experience and viewpoints floating around in the community, and seeks to facilitate the sharing of the knowledge. While he currently identifies as a switch, RobinDoood started out as a submissive bottom. He has been actively exploring his top side over the recent years and is enjoying the process of learning and discovery. RobinDoood is one of the founding members of Singapore Learn and Play (SLAP!), a non-profit organisation that strives to provide quality and affordable BDSM education for the community, where he leads discussions, presents skill-shares and writes for SLAP!. He is always interested in hearing about new ideas/formats/mediums for BDSM education.

2 thoughts on “Guide to Singapore BDSM Events

    • It depends on which munch. ASS and U35 munches require RSVPs on their FL event page to sign up for their munches. I highly recommend creating a FL account as there are so many useful resources and groups on Fetlife.

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