SLAP! Rope Jam

Practice makes perfect! The SLAP! Rope Jam is for rope enthusiasts to meet, connect and learn, regardless of their skill levels.

Rope Jam is a peer learning event, and is open to even complete beginners (both tops and bottoms). Many of us began our foray into ropes through workshops and self-learning, but this rope journey is often a lonely one. For the rope bottoms, there is seldom a chance to socialise, exchange tips, and share problems with other bottoms. For tops, there is hardly an occasion to observe how other tops tie. The aim of Rope Jam is to provide a safe and open space for members of the community to practise and explore. We can all learn something and find the answers to our questions from the shared experiences of the community.

Format: Peer learning, individual practice
Level: All levels of experience. Suitable for complete beginners
Equipment: See below
Attire: Comfortable, form-fitting clothing. Yoga/dance/tights attire is ideal.

The event will start off with an hour or so of facilitated peer learning in small groups to tap on our collective wisdom. The group part (#togethertime) will be pretty free flowing, covering topics that participants want to focus on that week. If you want to have a discussion on how to be a better bottom, or need advice on a particular tie you have been learning, this will be a good time to ask. Beginners will also be guided through a basic 101 on ropes and communication/negotiation during this time. Following that, the remaining 2 hours are free practice time for participants to work on their rope practice in their own favourite corners.

The venue will have 4-6 suspension points and abundant space for floorwork. Please be mindful of your noise level at the venue and clean up after yourselves. Nudity and sexual play will not be permitted at this event.

To find out more, please check out our Fetlife page.

Some ideas (a non-exhaustive list) we have for #togethertime include:

For everyone:

  • How to communicate with your partner
  • Anatomy. Nerves, joints, etc.
  • How to become more involved in the process of making the scene successful for both of you

For bottoms:

  • How to identify good pain vs bad pain
  • How to to last longer in ropes, make ties more sustainable
  • How to have good body awareness, knowing your own body
  • Knowing your own limitations
  • Stretching exercises

For tops:

  • Deeper explorations into various ways to tie a single-column, and advantages/disadvantages
  • Different ways to join rope
  • Hair ties
  • Rope handling drills
  • Futomomo/TK/Chest Harness/Hip Harness/Agura/pattern variations
  • TK 3rd rope variants
  • Different ways to tie/attach suspension lines
  • Many others


What should bottoms expect?
You can bottom at your own comfort level, or try a new tie. Please be aware of your own body’s limitations and expect to have proper negotiations before agreeing to be tied. Active communication between top and bottom is fundamental to a satisfying scene.

What should tops expect?
You can learn and practise rope at your own pace, and build up your rope confidence. You should be respectful, and take responsibility for your actions. If you need guidance, we are happy to share what we know. However, note that this is a peer learning event and not a workshop, so other participants will also have things they want to accomplish during the event.

I’m new to ropes, can I come?
Sure, Rope Jam is a low pressure event where you can absorb information at your own pace. We can teach you the basics during the first part of the event to get you started on your rope journey. There will be a briefing about negotiations, consent and safety for all newcomers.

Do I need a partner? Can I come alone?
It is a good idea to sign up with someone you are comfortable with tying. However, a partner is not necessary for the event. We can try to pair people up, but taking initiative and being open to approaching and negotiating with other participants will definitely lead to more fruitful partnerships. If you intend to come just to observe how other people do their thing or practise self-tying, that’s also okay! No pressure!

What is permitted at the event?
This is a rope event so only rope related scenes are allowed. Sexual play and nudity are not permitted. Due to our venue, loud activities such as spanking are also not allowed.
Photography of your ties is permitted, but please make sure you have the expressed permission of everyone in the shot, including in the background.
Please be respectful of other participants’ boundaries and space, and do not interrupt scenes that are on-going unless those in the scene have been asked beforehand.

SLAP! 2017 Year in Review


As SLAP! wraps up our 4th year, we’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who chipped in their time, energy, and effort to help make our events successful and informative.

With the help of 14 presenters and facilitators, SLAP! organized over 25 events covering a wide range of kinky topics, including 20 workshops and discussions, and 6 parties and peer ropes.

Thank you for stepping up and sharing your knowledge with the community, or facilitating our discussions. Thank you for so generously allowing us to hold events at your venues. Thank you to the community for actively participating and contributing during our events.

Here’s a list of events we ran throughout the course of the year.

[B] Bondage/Rope Events

  • Connective Rope
  • Semenawa and Armbinders
  • Chest Harnesses
  • Introduction to Rope
  • Fundamentals of Rope Bondage
  • Sadistic Rope Play
  • Two-rope Takate Kote
  • Connective Rope
  • Introduction to Rope Bondage

[DS] D/s-focused Events

  • Intro to the D/s Dynamic
  • Domination Skillshare
  • Service-oriented Submission
  • Submissive-focused Discussion

[SM] S/M-focused Events

  • Hit Me Baby One More Time: Introduction to Kink and Spanking
  • Impact Play!: Paddles, Tawses, Canes, and Hands
  • Pain Processing and Subspace
  • Singletails: An introduction to Whips

Open Discussions

  • SLAP! Discussion March
  • SLAP! Discussion May
  • SLAP! Discussion June
  • SLAP! Discussion July

Parties and Peer Rope

Parties: October, August, June
Peer Rope: April, February, January

Whew! That’s more than a handful! Join us in 2018 as we bring you even more funtastic kink education.

[Article] More young people in Singapore turn to BDSM for a spanking good sex life

The SLAP! team received an interview request by Yahoo SG some time back, and we agreed to the interview after finding out more about the journalist’s angle for the article. We appreciate that the journalist tried her best to keep the piece informative and neutral. Take a read!

Link to article:

Topics related to Bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, and Sado-Masochism (BDSM), are commonly discussed during educational events organised by local group SG Learn and Play! (SLAP!). The group was formed in 2014 – the year the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” starring Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) and Dakota Johnson (Anastasia Steele) came out in theatres – as the founders noticed an increasing number of munches being organised among the local BDSM community.

Munches refer to social gatherings during which members of the community would meet and chat over food and drinks.

“Munches are usually the first entry point for people looking to get into the scene, because they are a safe space for people who want to meet those with the same interests face-to-face,” said SLAP! co-founder Amber, who attended her first munch about 15 years ago. “In the past, when only one group helmed the scene, there was one munch a month. Today, there are two to three munches a month, and these are organised by two to three different groups.”

From 2012 to 2016, Amber saw the number of groups being formed in the community increase from two to four; one of them being SLAP!.

While the “Fifty Shades” movie – notorious for its depictions of BDSM – made some people feel at ease discussing the subject, it has also encouraged several misconceptions.

During a recent interview with Yahoo Lifestyle Singapore, SLAP! co-founders Robin, Amber and Will, all of whom are Singaporeans, unanimously highlighted that, contrary to the movie, people who are involved in BDSM are not “crazy people who like to beat others up” during sex. Rather, a lot of it has to do with “communication, respect and trust”, said the trio, who are part of a six-member team behind SLAP!

“It probably seemed like a cool new thing [to most people]. But they don’t have a good grasp of what BDSM is,” said Will, a working professional in his 30s. “So, a few of us felt that education in this field would be very important in order to let new people who are joining the scene become equipped with the right knowledge [and use it] to navigate their way through this lifestyle.”

SLAP! organises free monthly educational workshops, during which facilitators will lead discussions and hands-on lessons on BDSM-related topics such as rope bondage, dominance and submission, sensory deprivation, and safety measures, among others.

Each session typically accommodates up to 20 people and is held at private residences. Interested participants can get updates on latest munches through their website or via BDSM-specific social networks such as

“Our workshops are always filled to capacity. Some months are slow, especially during the holidays as people travel, but in general, we always have 20 pax per workshop,” said Amber.

Will is married to co-founder Amber, who is also in her 30s and works as a freelancer. The duo met via the now-defunct Internet Relay Chat (IRC) platform through their common interest in BDSM. After several years of friendship, they got married in 2013. The couple met Robin through munches in Singapore prior to forming SLAP! and have known him for nearly five years.

Some toys and tools used in BDSM. (Photo: Yahoo Lifestyle Singapore)

While the BDSM culture in Singapore is not as established as in the United States, Japan and Hong Kong, the trio agreed that the scene here is definitely growing, especially among young professionals.

While participants are not required to reveal personal details such as their real name, age and occupation, Will, Amber and Robin said that they were able to see common characteristics among people who attend. Most participants appeared to be in their 20s and 30s, spoke English proficiently, and are representative of the many ethnic backgrounds in Singapore.

“Most of the attendees have become personal friends and, once that ‘boundary’ is crossed, we do talk about personal details. I know which industries they’re in, although usually not the exact company they work for,” said Amber. “The people whom I know personally are managers, lawyers and finance officers. Mostly white-collar jobs.”

While many perceive BDSM as a sexual practice that solely revolves around pain, the trio see it as more than that.

“Some people see it as an art form; some like it to be playful, sensual or painful. All these terms can apply to any sort of play in BDSM, as long as the parties involved can enjoy the sensations together. You can do BDSM without touching the other person, without being unclothed and even without bringing out a single toy,” explained Robin.

BDSM ‘pervertibles’ (clockwise): Chopping board, acupressure massager (in blue), DIY tool, belt. (Photo: Yahoo Lifestyle Singapore)

BDSM in Singapore

Getting to attend SLAP! workshops isn’t easy. According to Will, Amber and Robin, joining their events involves substantial background checks.

For interested participants who are not regulars in the scene and have not attended their educational workshops before, SLAP! will conduct “vetting sessions” in small groups to find out more about their background. While these vetting sessions may not be completely foolproof, it does help SLAP! to avoid welcoming people who may be misogynistic in nature.

“We’ll ask them about their motivations in attending our events and what they want to get out of it. We will also manage their expectations in terms of the kind of behaviour that is (considered) acceptable,” said Amber.

When it comes to BDSM-related sex toys, the ones sold in Singapore can be rather pricey. This is why Robin highly recommends the use of everyday items for kink purposes, also known as “pervertibles”. These items can be found at big retail stores such as IKEA, Daiso and even pet shops.

In Singapore, premium BDSM toys can be found at local adult shops such as Alice Maple and U4Ria, where a fetish swing can set you back up to S$899. But there are also more affordable “tools” such as the ones by Singapore-based online store Nekonawa, which sells premium ropes for Japanese rope bondage play from S$20 per 8 metres. 

Some of the BDSM-specific stuff from kink stores can be very expensive and not of very high quality. For those just starting out, it’s all right to purchase cheaper items, and perhaps later on in your journey, you can spend on more expensive stuff,” said Robin, who owns both “pervertibles” and premium BDSM-specific sex toys. The most expensive toy that Will and Amber own is a S$400 metal stockade.

BDSM bondage cuffs. (Photo: Yahoo Lifestyle Singapore)

During their pursuit of pleasure, many members of the local BDSM community have also found themselves improving their communication skills with their partners.

Based on feedback received by SLAP!, many members were surprised to learn the depth of communication that goes into BDSM. For example, it is important for both parties to know what each other wants from a certain form of “play” and one way is to come up with a checklist to identify limits and common grounds, said Robin.

“Many of us have happy marriages and healthy relationships. Probably even more so than the (non-BDSM) couples that we know because we communicate a lot, especially when it comes to sex,” said Amber.

Advice for Rope

We came across this very useful set of advice for Tops and Bottoms by Topologist. It’s rope-oriented, but much of the advice is very relevant for all sorts of play.

Note: Everyone is encouraged to read all sections regardless of identification


When looking for new partners:

  • DON’T touch anyone without their clearly expressed verbal permission (or touch their toys, garments, etc.)
  • DON’T invite yourself into in-progress play
  • DON’T assume that if you saw someone do something with someone else, they’d like to do it with you

When playing with somebody new:

  • DO talk about limits and goals before playing
  • DO ask your bottom about their medical history
  • DO advise your bottom of all possible risks
  • DO establish safe words/signals
  • DO establish check-in procedures
  • DON’T use techniques you are unsure of on bottoms you don’t know well

Whenever playing with rope:

  • DON’T exceed your ability
  • DON’T play intoxicated or with impaired judgment
  • DON’T push bottoms too far beyond their experience and comfort levels
  • DON’T ignore warning signs of tingling / numbness /discomfort or requests to loosen / adjust / remove a tie
  • DON’T make bottoms feel bad if a tie isn’t working out; take responsibility for tying in a way that is appropriate for the individual you are playing with
  • DON’T keep playing if your bottom reports lightheadedness, seeing spots, or ringing ears, develops a cold sweat, or becomes incoherent; they are likely about to pass out and/or throw up
  • DO have safety shears within reach at all times
  • DO educate yourself about nerve safety and anatomy
  • DO check periodically for normal feeling and strength in your bottom’s extremities
  • DO get expert instruction when learning suspension
  • DON’T ever leave a tied bottom unsupervised
  • DON’T allow anyone to join your play unless negotiated in advance with all parties
  • DO protect bottoms from external interference while playing and immediately after play
  • AVOID rope across the front of the neck
  • AVOID ties on the upper arms (until experienced)
  • AVOID hardpoints you can’t fully inspect (especially anchors into concrete ceilings)
  • ALWAYS consider what would happen if your bottom loses consciousness, the electricity goes out, and the building catches on fire


When looking for new partners:

  • DON’T assume that someone knows what they’re doing just because they sound experienced / have a big toy bag / taught a class once
  • DO check references (and be sure they are reliable)
  • IGNORE any assertion that “a true submissive would …” or that you need to be submissive in order to be a good rope bottom, or that bottoming makes you submissive
  • AVOID tops who don’t want you to have a safeword, limits, or independent interaction with the community
  • SPEAK UP if someone makes you uncomfortable or violates your boundaries – if you’re at an event, promptly advise the host

When playing with somebody new:

  • DO ask a friend who knows your limits to observe
  • DO use safecalls if you must play in private
  • DO let your top know what your needs are for before, during, and after play
  • DO tell your top about any medical conditions, injuries, orphysical limitations
  • DO advise your top ahead of time if there is anyone you would want to join in while you are playing
  • DO make sure you know how to safeword, including nonverbally if you may be gagged

Whenever playing with rope:

  • DON’T leap into difficult ties without experience
  • DON’T play when dehydrated, hungry, exhausted, or sick
  • DON’T play intoxicated or with impaired judgment
  • DO warm up and/or stretch before playing
  • DO communicate when something doesn’t feel right
  • DON’T ignore what your body is telling you to avoid ending play; ask to do something different or take a break
  • DO learn about your body so that you know what is safe for you and can recognize danger signs
  • DO talk with others about how they experience rope and how they stay safe while rope bottoming
  • DON’T rely solely on your top’s judgment for safety; determine for yourself whether an activity/situation is safe, and insist any concerns you have be addressed
  • ALWAYS pay attention for warning signs of nerve compression: tingling, numbness, and loss of strength/motion should be taken seriously even if not painful; lasting damage can occur quickly and without discomfort at the time of injury

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SLAP! 2016 Review + 2017 Preview

As we start the new year, we’d like to take the opportunity to review some of what’s been happening at Singapore Learn and Play (SLAP!) during 2016 and talk about what is coming up in 2017.

On top of the discussions,workshops, parties, and rope socials facilitated by the SLAP! mods, we introduced some new formats last year, such as the Kink Geeks Dinner and the D/s Social.

At SLAP!, it has always been our goal to serve as a peer education platform for the Singapore BDSM community, and over the past year, we have had the privilege of hosting workshops by both local and foreign presenters/teachers.

  • YES! How to listen to and say it during kinky fun times by Shivre
  • Introduction to Needleplay and Play Piercing by Foxy
  • The Art and Beauty of Semenawa (責め縄) by subay
  • Rope Clinic by Taniguchi and Kiriko
  • Spanking by Kiriko
  • Caning by PrincessAmmy
  • Fetisch Film Festival screening and discussion

In the coming year, we would like to keep our workshops and events relevant to your needs, and to continue to draw on the diverse skills, talents, and interests of the community.

How you can help

  • Skill-shares,workshops, and discussions: There is such a diversity of kinky talents and interests within the community. We’d like YOU to step up and share your knowledge with the rest of the community to help all of us “level up” together.
  • Event spaces: We are always looking for appropriate spaces (at appropriate prices!) to host our events, be it for discussions, lecture workshops, hands-on workshops, rope spaces, etc. If you know of any kink-friendly spaces or are willing to let us use your private spaces, let us know! We’d be glad to provide references.

SLAP! would like to invite you, as a member of our wonderful community, to get in touch with us at or one of the SLAP! team if you can contribute in one of these ways!

What would you like to know more about?

Tell us more about the topics you’d like us to cover. Some events we’re likely to have in the coming year:

  • Erotic photography, from both sides of the lens
  • Connective body movement
  • Wax play
  • Electro-play
  • Movie discussions
  • Rope and D/s socials
  • Impact play
  • Rope
  • Fetisch Film Festival screening and discussion

Privacy: How to Protect Yours

For many kinksters, privacy is a key concern. However, while there is no foolproof way to maintain your privacy, there are many small steps that you can take to safeguard your identity online. It is relatively trivial to piece together someone’s identity using multiple small pieces of information that can be cross-referenced and linked together. Whilst someone knowing your real first name is unlikely to figure out your identity, knowing your occupation, profile name, and your first name is going to make it much easier for someone to link something up.

In this guide, I’m going to focus on protecting your identity online, and leave the IP anonymity tips to the experts. As I live in Singapore, some of the tips are in the local context, however, I think most should be applicable globally.


  • Don’t use the same kinky profile name that you’ve used anywhere else for any non-kink related social media, game, forum, blog, etc. I’ve had a few kinky friends use their kink names for games like Ingress/PokemonGo (GPS-tracking games… what could go wrong here…)
  • Don’t reuse your profile descriptions from OKCupid, Tinder or other vanilla dating sites
  • Kinky “profiles” include Fetlife, Recon, the instant messenger client you choose to use (kik, telegram, Line, wechat, etc), your email address (the part before the @).
  • Create a set of email/messenger accounts that will purely be used for kinky purposes, and are not linked to your vanilla identity.
  • Fetlife’s history feature will also show your previous username if it hasn’t scrolled off. So if you joined the site using an easily identifiable username, I would advise you to start a new account instead of changing the username.

Phone numbers

  • For convenience, many of us give out our phone numbers for whatsapp, SMS or voice contact.
  • Facebook. Don’t give Facebook your phone number. Even if you don’t give Facebook access to your address book or contact list, if your phone number appears in someone else’s address book, Facebook will use this information to make friend suggestions. If you have your face showing in your Facebook photo, someone just found out your real name.
  • Reverse lookups are not terribly difficult to do for phone numbers
  • Your whatsapp name will appear when sending whatsapp messages to new contacts. As I give my number out to both vanilla and kinky folk, I use generic emoji instead of a name in whatsapp. My whatsapp profile photo doesn’t have my face or identifying information.
  • Don’t use messengers that link your phone number for kinky purposes.
  • For maximum privacy, use a burner phone number for kink, preferably pre-paid, and linked only to a dumbphone. That said, the Singapore government requires your ID to be recorded whenever you buy a pre-paid SIM card. Google Voice numbers allow you to have multiple numbers on a single phone.


  • Don’t use any pictures on FL that have ever appeared on any other non-kink related social media. This includes photos of your dog, faceless vanilla photos, etc. Reverse image searches (such as Tineye, Google Image Search) are surprisingly powerful.
  • Don’t have a face photo as the profile photo on your Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn etc. This will make it harder for people to simply browse for your profile if they’ve somehow managed to find out your real name
  • Be careful about identifying marks/information in your photos. This could include jewelry, tattoos, unique scars, etc.
  • Be wary of appearing in the background of photos taken during kink events. Look out for mirrors as well.
  • Strip metadata from your pictures before sending/posting them. Fetlife does this, but if you want to be extra careful, you should use appropriate programs to strip metadata from your photos. Metadata can include the type of device used to take the photo, the GPS location (often your home)
  • Cropped photos often retain the original image in the metadata. It is best to either strip the metadata, or crop out features when taking the photo itself.

Your Job/School

  • This usually comes up during conversation with kinksters that you’ve just met. This is such a common ice-breaking question during vanilla introductions that many people just default to it during kink introductions as well. I politely deflect the question, and if pressed, I just say “no”.
  • Be vague about the industry you work in, and be really careful about naming the exact company that you work for

Things lying in plain sight

  • If you are hosting a play session, you might want to sanitize your home of anything that might reveal sensitive information.
  • This might include: mail, business cards, bank statements, personal correspondence, T-shirts/bags/caps with your company name on it, magazines, Redmart delivery bags, etc
  • Don’t leave your phone lying around during play. Messages often show up on the lock screen, with your vanilla profile name showing.
  • Don’t pass your phone to someone. Messages/emails from your vanilla account might pop up while they are looking at that pretty picture of you in rope.

Transit hotels in Singapore

  • If you use a transit hotel in Singapore for a short-term booking (2+ hours), both of you will be required to hand over your identity documents to the counter staff. If you’re not comfortable with that, don’t use these venues.
  • In addition, the counter staff will simply hand both cards back to one of you when they are done scanning the data. If you don’t want your play partner to know your real name, address, age, NRIC number, etc, you might want to be the one picking the cards up.

Do let me know if you have any further tips and suggestions.

Guide to Singapore BDSM Events

I’ve gotten quite a few questions about the various kink events that regularly happen in the Singapore BDSM scene. The scene has grown rapidly in the last 3 years, and we now have 4-5 kink events happening regularly each month! Yay for choice!

I’ve put down my personal thoughts about the events I regularly attend. Arranged in calendar order. Please feel free to share your own thoughts about the events in the comments.

Singapore Learn And Play (SLAP!)

Type: Education
Venue: Depends on type of event.
When: 1st Saturday of each month. Late afternoon to evenings.
Dress code: Vanilla to the door. Check specific event rules.
Cost: Depends on event. Some events are free.
Audience: 18+/21+ (see SLAP! guidelines). LGBTQA friendly.

If you want to have a safe place to learn more about kink, this is a good place to start. Discussion groups are focused, moderated discussions to share and learn from each other. SLAP runs regular kink 101 discussions targeted towards newbies as well.

Rope and D/s socials are other peer learning formats that SLAP facilitates for the community to learn from each other in an informal setting.

Workshops and skill-shares (conducted by your peers or by visiting experts) are more structured learning experiences. These range from lecture-style, to workshops with demos, and hands-on workshops.

FULL DISCLOSURE. I facilitate SLAP!, but I’ve also found my own skills/knowledge improving as I’ve attended our workshops. It’s fun to eat your own cooking

How to attend

Join the SLAP! group on Fetlife to get notifications about their events. Each event will have its own Google form that you’ll have to fill up to register. (Fetlife event RSVPs don’t count, but are good for telling your friends you’ll be attending). Discussions and 101s are open to all, but other events require vouching. (See SLAP! guidelines).


SG Under 35

Type: Traditional Munch.
Venue: Public. Restaurants and bars.
When: 2nd Saturday evening of each month, 6:30pm – 10:00pm
Dress code: Vanilla casual.
Cost: What you order. Mains (~$15-$30)
Audience: 18 – 35 year olds. LGBTQA friendly.

The U35 munch gives me a safe, comfortable vibe, and I use it primarily to catch up with friends and to make new ones. This is a classic munch, in terms of style. By this, I mean that if you randomly pick a munch in a big western city, the restaurant/bar format in a vanilla setting is the most common and traditional format.

There are a lot of newbies each munch, so newbies don’t need to worry about being the only new person in the group. Attendees are friendly to newcomers and the mods take pains to clamp down on creepy/predatory behavior at the munches. U35 mods will also conduct a short kink basics talk that covers safety, etiquette, consent, and other topics during the munch itself.

You’ll find a wide range of topics going on in the numerous conversations you’ll have throughout the evening. Once most people are done with their meals, they will circulate around to mingle.

How to attend

Join the SG Under 35 group on Fetlife to get notifications about their events. Fetlife events are usually posted 1-2 weeks before the event. RSVP on the Fetlife event at least 5 days before the event and you should get an invite with the location 2-3 days before the event.


Sunday Munch, Adult Supervision Singapore

Type: Traditional Munch.
Venue: Public. Restaurants and bars.
When: 3rd Sunday afternoon of each month, 3:00pm – 6:00pm
Dress code: Vanilla smart casual.
Cost: What you order. Mains (~$15-$30)
Audience: 18+. LGBTQA friendly.

This is a fairly new munch, but I love that we have so many dates and timings for munches now. The feel of the munch is very similar to the U35 munch as the formats are similar. This is a classic munch, in terms of style. By this, I mean that if you randomly pick a munch in a big western city, the restaurant/bar format in a vanilla setting is the most common and traditional format.

The crowd will be slightly older (but mostly below 40) than U35, but there are a wide range of ages showing up, from 18 years old and up. Attendees are friendly to newcomers and the mods take pains to clamp down on creepy/predatory behavior at the munches.

How to attend

Fetlife events are usually posted 1-2 weeks before the event. RSVP on the Fetlife event before the event and you should get an invite with the location



Type: Hybrid Munch.
When: Last Wed/Thursday evening of each month, 9:00pm – 12:30am
Dress code: Vanilla to the door. Fetish gear (no boobs/genitals) inside. No shorts/slippers.
Cost: $28 cover charge for 2 drinks
Audience: 18+. LGBTQA friendly.

Note: Due to venue issues, the SgDomSubs munch is currently on a hiatus. The comments below apply to the previous munches held at Taboo.

A little bit of everything. There is a large social component, with some very light play (usually no full-on scenes). There will be a mix of seated and standing groups. Ambience is generally good with dim lighting and there will be light background music.

Attendees usually wear a mix of casual clothes (no shorts/slippers allowed) or fetish gear. Most attendees will be in vanilla clothes, so don’t worry if you don’t have any fetish clothing. Normal bar/clubbing clothes will suffice. Some will show up in office-wear as well.

This is the most publicized munch outside of Fetlife, so there’s usually a pretty high turnover of attendees with a fair number of newbies as well as international visitors.

You’ll get 2 drink coupons with the cover charge, good for beer, wine, and house-pours. I find the house-pours quite weak, but that is a problem with Taboo house-pours in general. Beer and wine are what you’d expect to get elsewhere.

I don’t recommend that total newbies engage in play at the munch for several reasons. All of the commonly used consent/safety frameworks such as SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual), RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), PRICK (Personal Responsibility In Consensual Kink) emphasize informed consent. By definition, newbies are less likely to be able to give informed consent because they might not have all the knowledge/information they need to in order to give informed consent or to negotiate properly. For example, newbies may not have sufficient knowledge of risks (where not to hit during impact play, risks of nerve damage for rope, how to do a hand check during rope play for nerve damage, how to safeword (while gagged), why you shouldn’t be left alone after being tied up, etc).

If you do play, please negotiate properly (for both the protection of the top and the bottom). If you don’t know how to negotiate, you probably shouldn’t play. The probability of a bad outcome is significantly higher when you play without a proper negotiation.

How to attend

Show up. They sometimes have the munch on Wednesdays. Please check their FL events for the exact day.


King SG

Type: Munch/Parties
Venue: Varies. Usually in public locations.
When. Saturdays. Join their mailing list to get event notifications.
Dress code: (Munch) Vanilla, (Parties) Vanilla to the door, fetish gear inside
Cost: (Munch) What you order. (Parties) $20+
Audience: 18+. Gay/Bi males.

This entry will be quite brief as the group is very new. But KING is aimed at gay/bi male kinksters. They organize quarterly parties, and munches during the non-party months. PM me for more details about this.

How to attend

Event notices will be sent via email. Please join the mailing list by filling in this form.

Singapore Ethical Non-Monogamy Meetup

Type: Discussion & Social
Venue: Private location
When: Varies but at least monthly, usually weekends
Dress code: Vanilla
Cost: Free. Bring snacks/drinks to share
Audience: 18+. LGBTQA friendly.

This group is focused on building a community of like minded individuals, providing an opportunity to socialize in a safe space and to facilitate discussion on ethical non-monogamy. The meetups usually are a blend of socialization and discussion. Discussion only meetings between main meetings may be added in the future.

As not all polyamorous folks are kinky, there will be both vanilla and kinky folks present. The group is kink-friendly, although much of the discussion will be around vanilla topics related to ethical non-monogamy. I’ve found the discussions to be well facilitated, and the attendees to be thoughtful and candid about sharing their experiences.

How to attend

Run by Rob and Libby. Please send them a message at for more details. Additionally there is an invite-only secret Facebook group for discussion, resources and event planning.

Singapore Centralized Kink Library

OK, it’s not exactly an event, but it’s a great resource! Members of the local community, as well as some kind donors from the US, have donated and lent their books (the paper kind) to create a kink library. It’s got a mix of both fiction and non-fiction kink books on a wide range of topics.

It’s being administered by immoralrestraint and you should contact him via Fetmail to checkout any books you wish to borrow. He can usually be found at the Sunday Munch.

For more details, including the catalog and library rules, please visit the post for the centralized Singapore kink library